We’re Not Okay, But We’re Still Here. 🐶☕🔥
It’s Week Two of the “Other Human Is Gone” experiment, and…
Let’s just say morale is… crispy.
(And so is the cutting board, but we’ll get to that.)
NIGHT SHIFT REPORT:
The Head Human is not sleeping.
We repeat: the human is not sleeping.
She tosses. She turns. She talks to herself.
She’s up wandering the house like a Victorian ghost in fuzzy socks, muttering about coffee and conspiracy theories. We, the Office Dogs, have tried to intervene—offering cuddles, sitting directly on her chest, and stealing her pillows.
No luck.
By 4am, she’s journaling, reading Pinterest witch memes, or talking to the AI lady again.
We tried to offer support. She tried to use us as pillows. It’s a mess.
DAY SHIFT REPORT:
If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to run multiple businesses while also being a sleep-deprived caffeine gremlin…
It’s this.
This is what it’s like.
She’s functioning, kind of.
Moving through her to-do list in slow motion, getting distracted by shiny new ideas every 14 minutes, and occasionally disappearing into “laundry purgatory” for hours.
We suspect she’s just hiding in the dryer.
Naps are back on the schedule.
So is crying over spilled coffee.
And one particular meltdown involving turning on the wrong burner and melting a plastic cutting board directly into the stove.
We all stared in silence.
She said, and I quote, “I live here now,” and walked away.
CANINE STAFF MORALE:
- Barking at Nothing: Up 74%
- Licking the air dramatically: Daily occurrence
- Emotional support effectiveness: Gold medal level
- Number of times we’ve looked out the window for The Other Human: 11,247
We’re doing our best, but we’re snack-deprived and emotionally neglected.
We miss The Other Human.
He gives bacon. He smells like the outside. He doesn’t burn dinner.
CEO ENERGY:
Somewhere between “witchy chaos queen” and “mom who forgot it was picture day.”
Still making moves. Still getting things done.
Just… in a very overstimulated, slightly feral fashion.
Send help.
Send snacks.
Send noise-canceling headphones and one of those squishy heating pads for her neck tension.
And please… for the love of all things caffeinated—bring back the other human before the stove files a complaint.
#OfficeStaffUpdate #WeekTwoAlone #BurntDinnerClub #WorkingFromHomeChronicles #DoggosInDistress #WeMissTheBaconGuy
