Black Friday hits different when you’re a dog mom.
While other people are fighting for TVs and half-price air fryers, I rolled into Petco with:
- one big dog who thinks he’s a human toddler,
- one big dog who acts like he’s never been in public,
- and one tiny dramatic potato named Lagatha who is powered entirely by chaos and vibes.
And I, the exhausted CEO of this disaster squad, thought:
“Hey, what could go wrong?”
Everything.
Everything could go wrong.
Let’s begin.
🐾 Phase 1: The Parking Lot Panic
We hadn’t even made it inside before Lagatha decided she was DONE with walking.
She took five little prancing steps, looked me dead in the soul, and performed a full-body FLOP.
Not a gentle sit.
Not a “hold on, mom.”
Nope.
A loud, crunchy, dramatic “I’ve had enough of this life” collapse on the asphalt.
Meanwhile, the big dogs are in the back seat losing their minds because they KNOW they’re at Petco and they’re preparing for war.
I hoisted Lagatha’s limp noodle body into her harness like I was carrying a sack of potatoes to market.
🛍️ Phase 2: Entering Petco — The Chaos Begins
The automatic doors slid open like we were entering the Hunger Games.
And immediately — IMMEDIATELY — Lagatha executed flop #2.
Right there.
At the front entrance.
Blocking traffic like a furry speed bump.
People had to walk around her.
One lady said, “Awwww somebody’s tired,” as if my dog hadn’t slept 14 hours already.
Meanwhile, the big dogs were acting like they’d been released from a zoo exhibit.
Everything needed to be sniffed.
EVERY aisle.
EVERY bin.
EVERY person’s leg.
My husband was trying to hold onto one, I was dragging the other, and Lagatha was… being Lagatha.
And I realized something important:
Petco needs shopping carts with seat belts. For dogs AND their owners.
🐾 Phase 3: The Toy Aisle Meltdown
The toy aisle is where it REALLY went off the rails.
The big dog found a squeaky toy and refused to let it go.
We hadn’t even looked at the price yet.
It squeaked ONCE and ownership had been established.
Meanwhile Lagatha discovered the bed aisle.
She walked straight up to a giant fluffy donut bed, put one paw on it, then acted SHOCKED like:
“Mother… it’s SO SOFT?? You kept this from me???”
She then tried to climb inside.
Fully.
Like it was her bed now.
Like the law did not apply to her.
🙃 Phase 4: The Moment She Gave Up on Life
Halfway through the store, Lagatha stopped walking entirely.
Just… stopped.
Turned into a loaf.
Laid down on the laminate floor in silent protest.
The big dogs were pulling forward like sled dogs.
Lagatha was anchoring the entire operation.
And my husband was trying to negotiate:
“Come on tiny baby, you’ve got this.”
She did NOT have this.
Two employees walked by and laughed.
I don’t blame them.
I would’ve laughed too.
🚗 Phase 5: The Car Ride Home — CEO Mode Re-Activated
We loaded everyone (and our sanity) back into the car.
Lagatha got into her booster seat like she was the CEO being chauffeured home after firing half the board.
Those eyes said:
“I approve today’s purchases, peasants. Carry on.”
Meanwhile, the big dogs were panting like they had just climbed Mt. Everest.
🛍️ Phase 6: The Black Friday Damage Report
Let’s review what we ACTUALLY ended up buying:
🐾 Treats for sensitive tummies (because hookworms said “Surprise!”)
👉 Chicken & Apple Meaty Bites
🐾 A PackLeashes harness + matching leash because Aesthetic Matters™
👉 check out www.PackLeashes.com and use LagathasFave for your discount code!
☕🐶 FINAL DOG MOM CONCLUSION:
Black Friday shopping with dogs is:
- 10% price deals
- 90% cardio
- 100% chaos
- 0% control
- 400% adorable
- and absolutely worth it
Would I do it again next year?
Yes.
But with knee pads, emotional support snacks, and maybe a leash for my husband too.
